| May 2011 Column |
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| Baltimore's Child | |||
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Where can heartbroken children learn a vocabulary that will enable them to express their pain? What is the language of grief? Where can grieving children find solace and understanding? Where can they find friends who too, are struggling with devastating loss? Where can they go to learn how to live with loss – and how to be happy again? Stella Maris, well-known for its outstanding hospice services, offers children ages five to eleven, and teens from twelve to seventeen, a place of their own to share in the healing process after the death of a loved one - a parent, grandparent, a favorite relative, a special friend, a beloved pet. Each year, for twenty-five years, children of all backgrounds met for a day with their peers and skilled counselors to talk about the wounds of loss. Here they hear the words they need to sort out the myriad feelings that happen when a loved one dies – feelings of sadness and grief, pain and fear, anger and loneliness, and for some children, guilt. Who will take care of me? Why did this happen? Will I ever be happy again? Does anyone know how I feel? Was it my fault? Why does God do this to people? How can I live without _____? Now Stella Maris invites children to spend a full weekend at a haven of hope, Camp Me Too. Here they will be in the company of bereaved others and find comfort and support. Here they will find patient, compassionate listeners as they pour out their feelings – feelings they may withhold from their parents for fear of upsetting them. Here they can laugh and play without feeling guilty. They can cry their hearts out without shame or embarrassment. And here they can find meanings to guide them through their heartbreaking experiences and the inner strength to sustain them. What is in store for the children when they get there? A number of "ceremonies" enable the children to release their feelings together creating bonds of empathy and friendship and as a result, they strengthen one another. The feeling of isolation and loneliness that accompanies death melts away in the company of others. Releasing balloons with their notes attached carry their messages heavenward and connects them to their loved ones. In another ceremony, each child releases a butterfly and commemorates his and her own transformation. In still another little ritual, they build a bonfire and again, they put their feelings into words, write the words on paper, and fling the feeling-filled note into the fire, and their feelings go up in smoke. One can almost hear a chorus of sighs of relief. Sometime during the day the children make lanterns and after the evening bonfire event, they take their lanterns to light their way to their bunks. The symbolism of finding light in the darkness is not lost on them. A puppet show brings out in the open feelings the children might not have been able to identify, story-telling offers them new insights, sharing their own stories tells them they are not alone in their situation and in their feelings, music is specially and carefully selected to create a serene atmosphere and evoke stored memories and help guided imagery exercises, art gives the less verbal children an outlet for their feelings, and just imagine how satisfying it is to express their anger by drumming. Each activity is specifically designed to lift the burdens of bereavement.
How many children may attend Camp Me Too and how are they chosen? Camp Me Too is ideal for children who have suffered a loss from within six weeks to two years. Due to the limitation of space, only twenty children attend the camp and it is on a first come, first served basis. The interview also determines the special needs of the children so that the needs can be met by an appropriate number of staff and volunteers. In addition to the staff of professional mental health workers, volunteers are trained as compassionate buddies who remain at the side of each child during the entire weekend. This extraordinary, creative, powerful program, free to all, and funded in part by the Hospice Education Institute, is a blessing to every child who has had the good fortune to participate, and a blessing to every parent who, at the most difficult time of their lives, has the help and support of this compassionate and dedicated staff. This is the first annual overnight camp. We will hold this camp annually. Also, there are "day camps" each quarter of the year on a Saturday from 10AM – 3PM. Contact the Center for Grief & Loss to inquire about upcoming Camp dates. There is a charge for day camps. blog comments powered by Disqus
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